Textitardation (Tard-texting for short)

  Our phones have become unique devices. I really don’t think the term “phone” can simply classify what its potential is anymore. However, what I’m going to talk about is one specific ability of our phones in this current generation. What I speak of is texting. Or really if you want to get classy “mobile chat”. I say mobile chat because a lot of what internet chat rooms have created over the past fifteen years have been a major influence to how we text and communicate. We use emoticons and abbreviations such as Lol, Ttyl, and other such shorthand versions of phrases and feelings all too commonly in the texting environment.

In fact waaaaay to commonly.

Which brings me to our current word of the day

Texitardation – State of where a person overuses and abuses common chat shorthand as opposed to expressing emotion through actual words.

Tard-texting – Act of overuse of common chat shorthand to express emotions and thought.

 We all do it. It’s hard not to. It’s much easier to simply say “lol” or place a “=D’ face on a text to show amusement or happiness. They are great ways to set a tone or mood in a text since it’s difficult to pick on subtle verbal cues such as sarcasm on a text. Take this for example

I hate you.

You see that in a text your first thought is, “Holy shit! What did I do to piss this person off?” Now let’s try it again with with some text shorthand

Lol. I hate you.

See there? You are no longer wondering, “Why does this person hate me?” We are now wondering, “Hehehe. What did I do this time?”

 The problem is  when used solely on their own these forms of texting shorthand become quite a confusing and irritating nuisance. I can’t recall the amount of times where I would tell an entire story and I would get for a reply was a Lol or lmao. A basic rule of conversation is that two parties need to communicate to classify it as a conversation. If I’m talking to you about what I plan on doing this weekend, or how my date went last night and all you bring to the topic is lol, ya, and wow. I’m better off texting a phone that I keep in my back pocket and I ass text reply myself. That way I can at least try to figure out what, “fauenge sand casserole” means.

    I wonder what, “Blitz passion cupholder has to do with getting to second base?

Overuse of shorthand texting is something I believe we are slightly guilty of. However, there are some simple ways to prevent yourself from falling into tardtexting and also to keep your textee from falling into the same trap as wellUse your words. Nothing says, “I have an education.” like using words in proper dictation.

  1. Ask questions. If you are going to tell a three page long text, ask a question or two to include whoever you are texting. Something like, “What do you think?” Does wonders here.
  2. Text interesting things.  If you are going to send me six texts about how your boss is a douche and you hate him. Get creative! Threaten to cover him in pancake batter and roll him down a hill or something. Alternatively if you are getting six texts of blah blah blah. Throw in some creative commentary. “You should totally pelt him with gummy bears.”
  3. If the conversation is starting to get stale, throw in a what if or what would you do question. “What if dinosaurs still existed? Which one would you own?” Or “What would you do if you could do one crazy ass thing and get away with it?”
  4. If all else fails. If the conversation gets THAT boring. You can always not text. You won’t hurt my feelings if you tell me you have to go or whatever. I’ll just go back to texting my own ass again.

Now what the hell does, “beware clam traps.” mean…..



~ by cargen7 on July 8, 2011.

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