Slutty slutty kool aid man

What can only be described as a true testement to human laziness. I present to you a breakthrough in fruit technology (If that even exists) Without further ado…

     This is the Grape ple. Not grapple like a move found from a ufc  fight. So what is this exactly? At first glance it sounds tasty! You like apples? How about grapes? Well you are in luck because we took both and with the power of science we infused both fruits into one! Now you can enjoy the great taste of both worlds in one tasty fruit!

Did science finally do a solid to people and make the best fruit on the planet? No actually…. what they did was take one good old-fashioned apple. Put it on an awkward blind date with the kool aid man. A few shots of tequila later (It’s always tequila) we get some weird socially awkward fruit that is full of sugar-water.

Still not as awkward as that one time you woke up next to Gary Busey

     What was supposed to be a healthy alternative to your every day food intake options becomes a wolf in sheep’s clothing. A once proud and tasty apple is reduced to the health equivalent of sugar-water. The worst part is that fruit splicing is not all that uncommon actually. You have a variety of different mixtures of fruits that have been created over the years so the grapple get’s a nod and gets to sit in the produce section. Most people take one look at this package and think, “Oh my! My two favorite fruits now in one!” Are sadly mistaken when they bring it home and read the fine print on the label. Now normally apples are what, one to two dollars a pound depending oh which type and season of apple you partake in. Four apples….four bucks. That’s roughly a little over three bucks a pound. I think the biggest confusion here is that if you are so desperately wanting to combine the powers of apples and grapes….why not just make an apple and grape fruit salad? furthermore, when does injecting fruits with flavoring create new and wacky fruit flavors? These should really be called “krapples” or “appool-aid”. Hell if all it takes to makes some extra cash I have a few ideas. Why not make the bananapple? Sounds catchy! Or how about the mangwi! It sounds so cute! Oooh how about strawmens!? Stawberries and lemons are always a good mix. Maybe you want something exotic… try the passiongranite!

All in all the best way to mix fruits is to mix them either in a smoothie or fruit salad.

Until next time.



~ by cargen7 on July 7, 2011.

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