It’s ice cream!

There is a very troubling issue with our world today. It has gone on for as long as I can remember and the fact that no one has brought it to the attention of the U.S government is astounding. Of course I’m talking about the shape of our ice cream section in our grocers freezer. More specifically…


When you are asked what is your favorite type of ice cream and you answer vanilla…did you mean french vanilla? Or maybe you were thinking about the exotic vanilla bean? Or could it have been the super stacked double vanilla that was on the tip of your tongue? No, it was vanilla. Plain good old-fashioned vanilla. In fact, you never even consider alternate types of vanilla until you are bombarded with them at the freezer section. Since when do we need

  1. Vanilla (The only one that matters)
  2. French vanilla ( No one knows why it’s french anyway)
  3. Vanilla bean ( hint, there are bits of vanilla in the other vanilla varieties)
  4. Double vanilla ( It’s like doublemint gum really except there is no just “mint” gum)
  5. Ole vanilla ( What is this? Some cheap knock off of vanilla?)
  6. Old fashioned/homestyle vanilla (Unless grandma made it….it’s neither of these

The point is when we go for vanilla ice cream, we just want vanilla. Even then we really don’t “want” vanilla more than we want an ice cream that we can cover in our favorite toppings. Let’s face it; we love vanilla not because we love vanilla….we love it because we love hot fudge, caramel, and all of those other toppings we drown the vanilla in to negate the fact we bought vanilla ice cream. You heard me. We can’t go out and buy jars of caramel and hot fudge and drink it plain…that’s just…well unnatural. So we buy the vanilla ice cream and head home, place one scoop in the bowl and commence to the topping bombardment. I know some of you are thinking, “That’s not true! I eat vanilla ice cream all of the time!” I’m sure you do, but about halfway through your ice cream you will think to yourself, “I wish I didn’t run out of hot fudge” In fact the only reason we have root beer floats (The greatest dessert creation ever) is because of the fact someone ran out of toppings, got desperate and put the ice cream in some root beer.

Don’t get me wrong. I love vanilla ice cream. It is the canvas in which we create our own personal and tasty desserts. You can throw a pantry full of toppings and mixes into it and it will taste alright. However, all we need is vanilla. So I ask you oh kind distributors of ice cream, keep your cheap knock offs of vanilla and give me vanilla vanilla!


~ by cargen7 on July 6, 2011.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: